Friday, January 17, 2014

Being A First Time Mom vs Second Time Mom

Today I had to run out and drop some paperwork off for insurance and since it was a quick run (and it's freezing outside) I left C with his Aunt (my sister). Before I left, I must have said these things a million times, "Bye, bye baby. Mommy will be back soon. I love you!" I waited for him to respond, but he didn't seem to pay much attention to me. I felt sad leaving him since I rarely leave the house without him. My husband and I used to go out once a week for date nights back when it was in our budget to do so. I was always sad leaving him then and especially since he always cried for us. I'm not sure what makes it harder on me though. When he cries, or when he has no reaction at all. Especially when I come home and he doesn't greet me. I'll be honest, it hurts my feelings a little bit. I've gone out for just 10-20 minutes before and when I walked in the door he greeted me like I had been gone hours! I'm sure it just depends on his mood. If he's in a mamas boy, cling to mommy every chance he gets mood, I'll get a bigger reaction. If he's feeling more independent and just too interested in his toys, I get less of a reaction. 
On my way home, I thought back to the day when my husband and I were out on a date "night" seeing a movie. I don't think we were aware we'd be getting any sort of crazy weather. I don't even think we looked at the weather forecast at all. While watching our movie (no longer than 10-15 minutes in) tornado sirens were going off and they asked us all to get into the theaters against the walls. C was maybe only 4-5 months old (if I remember correctly). We had dropped him off with my mom right before heading off to our movie. I always trust that when I ask someone to babysit C, they'll take excellent care of him and make sure nothing horrible happens. It didn't matter who I left him with that day, there was no way I was going to feel at ease with tornadoes being spotted around  our town and me not being with my baby. The theater had no cell phone service past a certain point, so I had to go out into the lobby and pretty much outside in front of the actual theater to get service. The employees kept trying to usher us back into the theater to stand/sit with everyone else, but there was no way I was going back until I called my mom to check on my son. Once my husband let them know what was going on, they didn't seem to bother us anymore. When I finally got through to my mom, she said he was fine and that there wasn't anything to worry about. You can't tell a first time mom not to worry. It's just not that simple. I felt like crying and throwing up all at the same time. I was terrified and I didn't want something horrible to happen to my husband and I or our son unless we were all together. 
Luckily the storm passed rather quickly, although it seemed like an eternity at the time. Of course all the movie times were messed up and they weren't showing our movie again for another hour or so. We just couldn't be out that long and away from our son. We decided we'd try again another day. As soon as we got to my mom's house, I hugged my little man like I hadn't seen him in ages. Like I said, I hate being away from him as it is and if you add the stress of a storm to it, it doesn't help. (I actually wrote about this on my personal/family blog if you're interested in reading the entire thing.)
Anyway, this got me thinking about our new little one who will be joining us in just a few short months. Will things be the same as they were when I was a first time mom? Am I going to freak out over every little thing? Will I be sad when I leave the kids with a sitter to go out for a couple of hours? I guess it depends on the type of person you are. Some moms say it gets easier as they multiply, some moms still stress over every little thing. I have no idea how things will be once he/she gets here. I don't plan on being away from the kids for a while anyway. I still haven't let C spend the night away from me and he's 2 years old now.

Even the way I have my ideal birth planned, he won't be spending a single night away from me. I know some parents who have let their child spend the night away from them before they turned one. Others didn't let their child spend the night away from them until they were over three. It all depends on your comfort level and mine isn't very high. So it'll be interesting to see how my husband and I react with our new little one. Luckily he holds the same feelings I do when it comes to leaving our children overnight or even for more than a few hours. I love that he doesn't pressure me to let C spend the night away from us because he knows I'm uncomfortable with it. He knows how hard it is to spend time away from C. He's had several Army classes he's attended. The first was when C was 6 months, maybe. It was 2 weeks he spent away. The most recent was 5 miserable weeks and that was before C turned two. So he knows just how stressful and hard it is.
I imagine we'll probably be the same with baby 2, but there's no sure fire way to tell. It's probably just our personalities though. I don't think we're always the most trusting of people and we're extremely protective over our son and will be over the next baby. I think also being a stay at home mom makes me a little more anxious when I have to leave him. (I'm not saying working moms can easily leave their little ones!) I'm just meant to be a stay at home mom because even going back to work, I had to go to the bathroom every single day, multiple times a day to cry because I missed C so much. Even when I pumped twice a day, I sat and cried while looking at a picture of him. It was depressing!

I'm curious for those of you who are parents to more than one child. Did it get easier for you? Harder? Or did it just stay the same? When was the first time you let your little one(s) stay the night away from you and your husband/wife/partner? 



Wednesday, January 8, 2014

It's 2014... Wait, What?!

As you can tell, I've been neglecting my blog a lot lately. I always try to sign on the computer and pump out a blog post and end up distracted by something else. Next thing I know, nap time is over and so is my chance to write any kind of blog post at all. I'm currently writing while my 2 year old sits on my lap nursing. This often makes the baby mad and he/she will kick until C isn't on my lap anymore. 
He got a Thomas train for his birthday!
So 2013 is over and it seems like it went by really, really fast! The beginning maybe not so much but starting in October, it gets really busy for us. October 22nd is my husband's birthday and of course we have Halloween shortly after that. This year, C went as Brobee and was the cutest little Brobee I've ever seen. Then November we have C's birthday on the 8th and of course a party for whatever day we pick. 

His Thomas went with his train tracks!
He turned 2 this year and I really wanted to write an entire post about it, but I'm not sure I'll get to it. It's on my blog to do to write list. I honestly don't care if it's past the holidays and whatnot, I still hope to get those posts written and add some super adorable photos. So after C's birthday on the 8th we have Thanksgiving and we go to my Dad's then my Mom's for dinner.
Birthday Cake.
 December is extremely busy for us. The 3rd is my Mom's birthday, the 7th is mine and the 8th is my Dad's. Yeah, that's a lot of birthdays in a short time! Then on the 22nd we have our anniversary. My husband and I have been married four years now! It has definitely been a wonderful four years together and I look forward to many, many more.

Christmas with Craig's family.
Then of course there Christmas which was pretty busy for us this year. We had Christmas with Craig's family on Christmas Eve then on Christmas day first at my Dad's then we went to my Mom's. We did our little family Christmas on Christmas morning. While I thought C's eyes would glow and he'd be super excited, he was kind of grumpy. He's not always the best morning person. 
Christmas at my Dad's.
He got so many great things for Christmas too. We ended up taking a couple of things back we got him because they just were not as great as we thought they would be. He now has a really awesome kitchen that he loves playing with. He also got a really neat Cars table/chair set from my sister (not for Christmas) that she found on sale that goes perfectly with the kitchen set because he can "cook" then sit at his table and eat. It's so adorable to watch him play with it then sit and "eat" after he's done. 
Christmas with his cousin at my Mom's.
In 2013 we made the big announcement that we were pregnant with our second baby. He/she is due April 28th! No, we still don't know what we're having, yet! We plan to find out, just not yet. I've been enjoying pregnancy so much. To be honest though, the first trimester was exhausting and I hated it. The smell of food made me want to vomit and when I did eat something, I was sure I actually would vomit. I didn't actually throw up, at all, but I could barely eat anything in the first trimester. Now food is my best friend and I want to eat everything! Pregnancy has been so great, just like with C's pregnancy, I'm taking care of myself and the baby. I've even been nursing C throughout this pregnancy and plan to tandem nurse if he'd still like to nurse. I plan on letting him self wean, while keeping in mind that baby is the priority. I'm not too worried though, I had a great supply of milk with C so I'm thinking hoping it's the same this time around. I've been feeling the baby kick so much and it's always my favorite part of pregnancy! I will be using a Doula for this birth and have things planned to be a lot different from my first birth experience. (I will be writing about C's birth soon. I've had an itch to do so before this baby gets here.)
He got to see Curious George on his birthday!
 The biggest thing I'm stressing about it writing a birth plan and hoping I get everything in it that I want for this birth. As for names, we have one name picked out. We'll worry about picking another name out when we find out the gender. We also have a baby shower to look forward to because my dear friend is throwing one for us. We're not sure on the specifics yet until we know the gender of the baby. We're just so excited to be growing our family and look forward to having our little one here and in our arms. I'm definitely not rushing pregnancy though because like I said, I'm really enjoying it.
As you know, I write for The Green Nursery's blog
! I don't write full time, but I do get to test diapers for them and write up a review. They then add a giveaway which is known as Win It Wednesday! This week, by the way, is a bumGenius Elemental! So head on over there and read my review and enter to win one. Stephanie is their other blogger and always has the best posts, so make sure you follow The Green Nursery's Facebook page to keep up on the posts. 

A Christmas present from my dad and brother!
I have two reviews planned for my blog. While they won't be accompanied by giveaways, I hope you still enjoy reading the review. Back when GroVia was coming out with their new prints I was lucky enough to win an AIO in Drift. I've gotten a lot of time to play around with it and will be writing a review for it soon. I also was lucky enough to win a Blueberry diaper from Abby's Lane Facebook page and will have a review up for that soon as well. So while my blog has been slow lately, I have a list of things to write about. Now just to discipline myself enough to sit down and write them all out and I'll be good.
I hope you all had a wonderful year in 2013 and hope that 2014 holds wonderful new adventures and happy times for you and your family!